That One Girl
by TR16
Summary: Hiccup has survived so many diastrous things that should have ended his life, and hardly took notice to any of them. But when something as heart-breaking as losing someone near and dear to him happens, he can hardly keep his head above the surface. :HxA:
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, this is my first attempt at a HTTYD fanfic. I've seen this movie three times ((twice in 2D and once in 3D)) and I am in love with it. Hiccup is my absolute favorite character and I just love the little cutie.**

**Random idea for a story; where the idea for it came from shall be stated _after_ Chapter Two. Hope you enjoy!**

**_Disclaimer: I do NOT own How to Train Your Dragon, any of the characters, or any of the locations._**

* * *

**Chapter One**

It was hard to describe what I was thinking and what I was feeling since the news was revealed. I talked to no one for the mere reason of having absolutely no idea as of what to say. Everyone knew what had happened, and there was despair flooding throughout the entire village. It was always this way when something like this happened, so I thought nothing of it when no one said anything to me as I passed them on the way back up to my house.

My dad wasn't home when I arrived; he must have still been down at the other house. I guess it was his duty, as chief of the tribe, to help out in situations like these. I, being the chief's son, should most likely be down there as well, but I couldn't stand being at that house any longer. I walked over to the bed on the other side of the room, sat down on it, and reached down to carefully turn the metalwork that made up my left foot, "massaging" it, in a sense. After a few seconds of this I put my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. I had been trying so hard not to ever since I received the news, but I couldn't hold them in anymore. In front of no one, concealed in my own dreaded thoughts, I let the salty tears roll down my cheeks, smearing onto my hands.

I wasn't expecting this to happen in the least, and was taking it harder than anyone in the entire village, save for her parents. It was winter time, and people caught sicknesses in the winter more often than in any other time of the year, I knew this. But she seemed like such a fighter; she was someone that could definitely fight off a lousy disease. Or so I thought, for when the time came she failed to live up to her reputation. I don't think anyone expected it to happen to her… and I knew that I hadn't. The month had started off with such promise, with the new acquaintance between Viking and dragon. And then, only two weeks after this happened, she had caught the flu. She was in bed for the next two weeks, and no one, not even I, was allowed to go and see her the flu was so bad. I often heard her coughing harshly as I passed her house, and I would always feel the urge to rush inside and comfort her. I knew I couldn't, though, no matter how much I wanted to.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped, scrambling towards the other end of the bed. When I noticed that it was my dad I calmed down, letting out a quick breath of relief. I wiped the tears from my face with the end of my sleeve, hoping that my father hadn't seen the trails that they had made through the very small layer of dirt that rested on my skin.

"Oh, uh, uh, D-dad," I staggered, watching as he sat down on the bed next to me. "I, uh… I didn't hear you come in." I sniffled a little, turning my face away from him in an effort of hiding my red eyes. He sighed loudly, placing one of his large hands on my shoulder once again.

"It's okay to cry, son, you don't need to hide it," he told me quietly. I wiped my eyes one last time before turning back to face him again. I knew that I probably still looked terrible from crying into my hands, and then smearing my face into them. "… her parents want you to be the one to send her off. They know how close the two of you were…" I looked into his eyes, my own pair widening in slight surprise.

"But it's tradition that the parents send their children off," I stated, "so that the children could be with their parents when they passed onto the next world." Dad sighed again and nodded slowly.

"Yes, they know, but they also know that the two of you didn't get to see each other at all for the past two weeks… and so they wanted you to have the honor. They wanted Astrid to be with you when she passes on." My eyes widened even more as I turned my head to stare down at the wooden floor. I had never heard of any time in recorded history that someone outside of a family sent a member of the family onto the next world. I was honored to have been chosen to do this, and I so badly wanted to, so I couldn't refuse.

"I, um… I suppose I can do it…" I accepted quietly, hearing my voice break. My dad suddenly wrapped his big, muscular arms around me in a tight embrace. I didn't move an inch, and instead just let him hug me. I had no energy to move any part of my body, and I felt exhausted from the crying I had done earlier.

"The ceremony with be tomorrow at sunset," he whispered to me, pushing himself onto his feet again. "You should, um… probably get some rest. You look like you need it." I merely nodded, carefully lifting my legs onto the bed and covering myself with the blanket. Dad threw some extra logs onto the fire in the middle of the room before walking towards the front door again. "I'm going back down to Astrid's house… to tell them that you've accepted. I won't be gone long." I turned onto my side, facing towards the rest of the large room.

"Okay, Dad," I responded drowsily, closing my eyes. I heard the door open and felt a slight winter breeze blow into the room. It felt good on my face, and I almost wanted to ask my dad to keep the door open. But after a second he was gone, the door was closed, and the wind disappeared. I sighed quietly to myself as another tear slipped down my cheek.

* * *

The morning was quiet and absolutely still. My father and I sat silently around the fire in the middle of the large room, turning the fish on the end of our rods to get them cooked. Dad ate his in one bite, but I couldn't even bring mine to my mouth. I wasn't in the mood to eat, and so I gave my fish to my dad, pulled my riding gear on, and headed outside into the brisk morning air. It was still early so the entire village was most likely still asleep. I snuck quietly over to where Toothless came out to every morning to eat his breakfast. He saw me walking towards him with my riding gear on and I could instantly see the look of excitement on his face; he loved going flying, no matter what the time of day it was.

I carefully mounted the saddle on his back, or, more likely his neck, and slipped my feet into their stirrups. I made sure that my replacement left foot was strapped into its stirrup tightly before patting Toothless' head. He shook his head excitedly, giving a grateful groan, before spreading his large black wings. I held on tightly as Toothless kicked off of the ground and sped into the gray morning sky. The water surrounding our island was also a light gray color, as it usually was in the early morning. Toothless and I soared out over the water, going down near the surface to get a quick, refreshing morning spray. We flew over to the docks where, in just a few hours' time, I would be sending Astrid off to the next world.

I still couldn't believe that this was happening to me. The girl I had had my eye on for years had finally decided to like me back… and then she was gone in a blink of an eye. I had hardly had any time to actually get to know her. We would ride our dragons together every day, visiting the canyon where I had kept Toothless a secret for all that time. And now those memories were just those… memories. I would never soar through these skies with Astrid again. I would never feel her arms around my waist when she rode Toothless with me again. Nothing was ever going to be the same without her there with me.

Toothless made a sudden dive, and I held on tightly as we shot back down towards the water. He bounced off the water's surface and flew back up towards the clouds, spraying us both with water. He made a laughing noise, and I knew that he was trying to cheer me up, but I merely frowned and shivered. He turned his head back to look at me, and I turned my head to look away from him. He understood what was going on with me; he wasn't like other animals or other dragons. He and I had a special connection, and he was worried about me, I could tell. I reached forward and patted his head again.

"Let's go back, bud," I said to him quietly. "I'm getting a little cold out here…" He made an unhappy noise, as I knew that he wanted to keep flying, but he turned and started heading back towards the village. As we were flying overhead I saw Astrid's mother walk out of their house and towards the edge of a high cliff. When she got to the edge she looked up towards the sky and closed her eyes. I turned Toothless' head towards her and he understood the message, bringing us down to the ground near her. I carefully climbed down from Toothless and quietly walked over to Astrid's mom.

"Good morning," I said, just then noticing how tired and teary my voice still sounded. Astrid's mom jumped a little, turning towards me with her hand on her chest and her eyes wide with surprise.

"Oh, Hiccup… you startled me," she said, looking down at me. I saw that her eyes were a little red, and I knew that she had been crying… again. Something that I wanted to go off and do a little of at the moment…

"I'm sorry," I replied softly. "I… didn't mean to. I was up on Toothless and I saw you out and I wanted to come and see how you're doing…?" She gave me a small smile, ruffling my hair gently. I shook my head again after she took her hand back, trying to make my hair fall back to where it had been. I utterly hated it when anyone ruffled my hair…

"I'm… getting along," she responded, turning to face the water again. "I've been praying that the Gods will take care of her once we pass her on to the next world." I sighed very quietly as I, too, turned to look out to open water. Everything seemed so gray at the moment; the sky, the water, the atmosphere around the village… they were all so dim and downcast. "I know that everyone has their time… but hers just came much too early, Hiccup. Much too early…"

"I couldn't agree more…" I replied, looking down at the water crashing up against the rocks at the bottom of the cliff. Astrid had been so young… she had been older than me, but only by a few months. But even still, dying at fifteen was unbelievable. I couldn't imagine dying at her age in a few months… it made me wonder what she had to have been thinking those two weeks that she had been so sick… those two weeks that she had been confined to her bed. Those awful two weeks that I wasn't allowed to go and visit her…

Astrid's mother sighed.

"I'm going to go back inside… maybe pray a little more," she told me, turning back towards their house. I nodded once.

"Add in a please for me," I said to her in a light, joking manner. She gave a slight chuckle before disappearing into the house. I turned back towards the water, welcoming the slight breeze that blew my hair back. Toothless came up beside me, looking out at the open ocean with me. Out of nowhere I felt sudden raindrops begin to fall, and I groaned slightly. I turned around and began walking back towards my house, Toothless right by my side, the rain becoming harsher and harsher. By the time we both entered the house again we were soaked, my wet hair hanging down in my eyes. I brushed it aside as I walked back over to the bed on the other side of the room. I heard Dad upstairs, but he was quickly making his way back towards the stairs. I hurried under the blanket and acted as if I were asleep, closing my eyes just as he came into the room. I heard Toothless lay down on the floor right beside the bed, and I heard my dad walk over towards us.

"Oh son…" he whispered, brushing my wet hair back. He said nothing more, and made his way over to the door. I heard him put his Viking helmet on his head before opening the door and heading out into the rain.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't get back to sleep. I tossed and turned; squeezing my eyes shut tighter and tighter, and ended up on my back, staring up at the ceiling as the rain continued to pelt down on the roof outside. I thought about Astrid and the very first ride she and I had taken on Toothless together. The first time we had ever really gotten along, and the first time she really showed any kind of feelings for me… that was one of the best memories I had of her. I closed my eyes softly and pictured that first ride in my head, letting my mouth curl into a small smile as I slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

I woke up well into the afternoon. I went to the still-burning fire in the middle of the room to cook a quick fish, as my stomach grumbled. I could tell that it hadn't stopped raining from the sound of the little drops of water still pounding down against the roof. I ate slowly, nearly gagging on every bite I took. After forcing myself to eat only half of the fish, I threw the rest to Toothless before heading out the front door and into the sheeting rain. I saw someone struggling with carrying four large baskets in their arms, and with nothing else to do I ran over to them and offered to help carry the baskets back to their house.

"Oh, why thank you, Hiccup," Volga said gratefully as I took two of the large baskets from her arms. I gave her a very small grin as we started towards her house again. "You can just place them right over there… thank you," she told me when we entered her house. I placed the baskets down on the floor where she told me and she placed the other two on top of them.

"You're welcome," I told her quietly, giving her another very small smile before turning towards the door again.

"Hiccup… I know how you're feeling right now…" she said as I grabbed the metal door handle. My grip tightened as she spoke and I gritted my teeth softly. I really didn't like it when someone stopped me to try to talk to me about how I was feeling at the moment. The entire village was feeling down… why did everyone come to talk to me?

"Yeah… I'm a bit upset… but it happens. People come and go… it's a part of life…" Volga sighed and didn't respond. Taking her silence as a "You can go now"; I pulled the large wooden door open and stepped back outside again. I walked out into the rain, and with only the second step I took, my prosthetic left foot sunk slightly into a muddy patch of grass, causing me to trip and fall to my hands and knees. I groaned to myself as I started trying to get back to my feet, pulling my metal foot out from the muddy grass. I stood back up and the first thing I noticed was that my left foot looked differently then it should. I groaned to myself and looked down at my muddy hands and knees, deciding to go back to my house to wash up.

Toothless was still curled up by the side of the bed when I walked in, asleep. I limped quietly over to the stairs and made my way up them as silently as I could, trying not to wake him up. When I reached the top of the stairs I turned into the large room that made up the second story of the house, walking with difficulty over to a large, hand-carved wooden bowl full of water. I stuck my hand into the water to find that it was cold. I couldn't find myself caring whether the water was cold or not as I pulled my tattered green shirt off and threw it into the water. I didn't take the energy to dump soap in; I scrubbed the mud off of the dirty areas and considered it clean enough for now. I then took a small rag, dumped it into the water, and used it to scrub the dirty spots on my pants. Whenever possible, I didn't take my pants off to clean them; it was such a difficult task to take them off with my left foot, and I always hated seeing where my leg ended and where the metalwork began. After scrubbing my knees and a few other places on the pants I plunged the rag back into the water, not bothering to do anything else with it. I took my wet shirt in my hands and walked back downstairs, trying to keep quiet for Toothless. I went over to the fire to hang my shirt over it to dry, and then I stood in front of the fire to try to get it to dry my pants as well.

I heard two men talking outside the front door and recognized their voices as my dad's and Gobber's. I forgot about drying my pants and instead ran over to hide behind the bed, still shirtless, so that I could hear what they were talking about without being seen. I gasped as I tripped over my injured metal foot on the way to the bed, diving over it, and landing on my side on the hard wooden floor. I bit my lip so that I wouldn't scream at the pain that seared through my body as the two men entered the house, hoping that my shirt hanging over the fire wouldn't give away that I was home as well.

"Do you really think so, Gobber?" my dad asked as they walked into the room. I shivered as the cold air from outside swarmed through the room, surrounding my bare skin in a coat of cold.

"I'm not one-hundred percent sure, but I am thinking that it could be a possibility," Gobber replied, shutting the front door. Toothless gave an annoyed grunt and hopped up on top of the bed to curl up again, facing away from Dad and Gobber. I rolled my eyes at him with a very slight grin on my face. "They had a special relationship, you know that… and now that she's gone… I'm just saying that Hiccup sinking into a slight depression wouldn't be too surprising…" My eyes widened as Gobber brought up what they had been talking about.

"Maybe I should talk with him about it…" Dad responded. I heard him and Gobber take seats at the table across the room from where I was hiding. Now I knew that I was going to have to avoid any alone time with Dad… that was a conversation that I wasn't going to have. "Where is he anyway, do you know?"

"I haven't seen him since yesterday. He's probably out flying on… wait, Toothless is over there…" Dad sighed.

"He might be out walking… he does tend to do that sometimes, and it's become a habit for him ever since Astrid became sick. I guess it lets him be alone with his thoughts…" My eyes drooped as I let out a very quiet sigh and repositioned myself so that my back was leaning up against the bed. Going out walking sounded like a very nice idea at the moment, but I still needed to fix up my left foot from after that fall earlier. I sat absolutely still as Dad and Gobber continued their conversation.

"Ah, it's a mess," Gobber sighed. "Must have been some case of the flu; I've never seen anyone, especially a child or teenager, die so quickly or easily as Astrid did." Dad sighed as well.

"I'm just hoping that Hiccup can actually bring himself to send Astrid off this evening…" he said quietly. I heard him push himself back to his feet, walking over to another side of the room, and then the sound of another log being thrown onto the fire was heard. I closed my eyes and hung my head, silently thinking the same thing as my father. It was definitely going to be a difficult thing to do, sending Astrid's body off in front of the entire village. Crying was almost a guarantee, and with everyone watching… it was certainly going to be an interesting night for me.

Dad and Gobber went on to talk about other things, and so I eventually tuned them out and merely sat there with my eyes closed, thinking about what was coming that evening. After what felt like an eternity, Dad and Gobber both stood from the table and exited the house, giving me another quick gust of cold wind to wrap around my bare upper body. When I was sure that they were gone I pushed myself slowly to my feet, accidentally waking Toothless up. His green eyes widened in surprise of seeing me there, but he thought nothing of it and closed them again to go back to sleep. I walked around the bed and over to the fire, grabbing my dry shirt. I pulled it back over my head, welcoming the sudden warmth it gave to my body. I then carefully limped out the front door and began my trip down to the blacksmith shop.

It took me a good fifteen minutes, but I was finally able to bend my left foot back into its original shape. When I was satisfied with my work I headed back out into the rain, realizing that the sky was now noticeably darker than before. I let out a quiet sigh as I realized that the time was drawing nearer and nearer… and only to make me feel even worse, Astrid's father came running up to me a few steps out of the blacksmith shop.

"Hiccup!" he called, running towards me. I turned to face him as he approached me. "Everyone has begun to gather at the docks… we're going to start in a short time… are you prepared?" I looked down at the wet ground, my eyes drooping again as the rain dripped from my sopping wet hair.

"… yeah, I guess I am," I finally answered after a few seconds of silence. "When should I be down there?"

"Any time in the next half an hour. We'll, um… we'll be waiting for you." I looked back up at his face and noticed the extreme sadness in his eyes, and noted the frown on his face. I nodded once at him and he turned to walk back the way he had come. I watched him walk away, and saw the way he was feeling portrayed in the way he moved. His shoulders slumped, his arms hanging limply down at his sides, every step he took was taken so slowly… I felt for him. Going through something like this as a parent had to be difficult. I was upset about it, yes, but being Astrid's father or mother… losing your child at the age of fifteen had to be so tough.

I made my way back up to the house as the sky grew even darker. Toothless must have given up on trying to sleep, as he greeted me with nearly knocking me over when I walked in the front door. I chuckled very lightly and patted his head before walking carefully over to the hook where I hang my fur jacket. I slipped my arms through the vest, bent over, and shook my wet hair out. I knew that it wouldn't do any good, seeing as I was about to go right back out into the rain again; it had become a habit for me to shake my hair out whenever it got this wet. After I was finished with that I decided to go and sit by the fire before leaving to go down to the docks. Toothless came over to sit beside me, and I placed one hand on top of his head. I stared into the burning flames as they licked at the air, desperately trying to grow larger and larger. A few moments later my dad entered the house, soaking wet.

"Ah, son," he said as he closed the front door. "They're, um, they're ready for you down at the docks." I gave him one curt nod without looking away from the fire. He sighed quietly. "Hiccup… I know this is tough for you… and if you would rather not send her off, I'm sure that-"

"No," I said hardly, still staring intently into the burning embers. I could tell that my dad was surprised at the harshness of my voice. "I can do this, Dad. It's… something I have to do, I know it. Astrid would want me to…" We were both silent for a few short moments, and then he sighed again.

"I believe she would," he agreed, grabbing the door handle again. "When you're ready, son. Um… make it soon, alright?" I gave him another nod, still not taking my eyes off of the fire. "Alright then… I'll see you down there." After another moment or silence he slipped out the door, leaving me and Toothless alone once again. I continued to stare into the flames… and after a short moment I closed my eyes, letting one single tear slide down my cheek.

"Please, please take care of her," I mumbled quietly to myself. "She deserves to be taken care of well… she's a good spirit, and just… please, let her be welcomed into the next world with the knowledge that she will have no trouble in the next life." As my prayer progressed I felt more and more tears begin to cascade down my face. I sniffed, wiping the tears away with the end of my sleeve, only to have them replaced with new ones. I wanted to try to get all of my crying out of the way now, so that the rest of the village wouldn't have to see me cry. "Please… I just ask that she's taken care of well…" I slid my eyes open and pushed myself back to my feet, making sure that I had my dagger on the inside of my vest before heading towards the door. I turned back to Toothless. "You comin' bud?" I asked him. His mouth turned up in a great smile as he scampered over to me. I opened the door to let the two of us out to see a magnificent rainbow in the dark sky. The sun still shone over the horizon, the gray storm clouds having finally passed. It looked like it was going to be a dry ceremony.

After taking one step I decided to take a ride on Toothless down to the docks. I didn't have any of my riding gear on, and so I held on very tightly as we took off. Toothless was careful not to fly too dangerously, as he knew that I didn't have the appropriate gear on.

When we soared over the docks I saw the entire village gathered on them. My father was standing on a large box above all of them, speaking to them all. A few of them noticed me flying down towards them, and the word spread until everyone was looking up at me. I took Toothless down and we landed carefully on the dock next to where Astrid's parents were standing. I got off of Toothless' saddle, instantly noticing her strapped to a board of wood. My eyes drooped and I felt tears begin to sting at the corners, but I blinked them back as my father continued to speak.

"And so now… as we have done for the past few generations, we send Astrid off to the next world, where the Gods will watch after her for us. Astrid's parents have asked Hiccup to perform this instead of themselves, and so…" Dad turned towards where I was standing, lifting his arm and gesturing it towards me. I knew what he was going to say next, and no matter how much I didn't want the time to be now, I had no say in the matter. "… Hiccup… it's time to send her off." I felt one tear worm its way down my cheek as I gave him one small nod. I watched as the entire village shifted to look at me as I knelt down beside Astrid's lifeless body. As tradition had always been, I lifted my arm, pulled my sleeve back, and took my dagger out in my other hand. I heard Toothless give a quiet growl at the sight of the weapon, and an even louder one when I touched the knife to my arm and slowly made a small cut into my skin. Blood instantly rose to the surface, and I cringed slightly. I placed the dagger on the dock and took the thumb of the opposite hand to wipe it across the wound, smearing blood onto it. Once my thumb was bloody enough, I took it and gently rubbed it once across Astrid's forehead, leaving a bright red mark across her skin.

"… please take care of her," I murmured quietly to myself. With assistance from her parents, I moved Astrid's body into the water very gently. And then, after everyone had backed away, I slowly pushed her out towards open sea. I let another tear drop into the water as I pushed myself back to my feet, staggering slightly with my metal foot. The entire village was absolutely silent as Astrid's body floated further and further away from the docks. I stood up straight, trying not to show how sad I actually felt on the inside. I couldn't hold in the tears that raced down my cheeks.

"May the Gods protect her," my father announced after a moment of utter silence. I felt myself beginning to break down, and so I quickly turned and threw myself back onto Toothless' saddle. I said nothing when Astrid's parents asked me what I was doing; I merely patted Toothless' head and we were off. I watched Astrid's body drift out to open water from the air for only a few seconds before not being able to stand it any longer. I turned Toothless in the opposite direction and we sped back towards my house, tears refusing to stop flooding down my face.

* * *

**I have to say that writing Hiccup in such an emotinal state is amazingly fun and interesting. It's really fun to get into his head a bit and I've always loved writing characters in sad/depressed/emotinal ways. I don't know why, but I just love it.**

**I hope you liked Chapter One! Please review! Thanks!**

**~Taylor**


	2. Chapter 2

**And here is Chapter Two! Please enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

I was laying on my side, facing away from the front door, Toothless on the ground beside the bed, when my dad entered the house almost half an hour later. I heard him let out a large, heavy breath as he took off his Viking hat and hung it on a nail on the wall. I tried to act like I was asleep, but it didn't fool him this time.

"Son, I know you're awake…" he said to me as he walked over towards me. I sighed quietly before turning onto my other side to face him. I didn't say a word when he knelt down on his knees to become level with my face. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. "Why did you take off like that?" he asked. I rolled my eyes.

"I… didn't want to be there anymore," I answered, turning onto my back to stare up at the ceiling. I had a white cloth wrapped around my arm where I had slit it open earlier, a bright red mark bleeding through it very noticeably; I tightened it around my arm to occupy my nervous hands. I cringed slightly at the tightness, hoping I wasn't cutting off the blood circulation to my hand.

"That doesn't mean you just take off like that," he told me. "You were supposed to wait until the end of the ceremony, when the rest of the village left, so that we could clean up the wound on your arm there with a piece of Astrid's clothing, and then use a rock to sink it down to the bottom of the water. You know the tradition."

"I couldn't stand being there anymore," I responded, tightening the cloth even more. "I know that I was supposed to stay, I know that we were supposed to do all of that stuff, I just… couldn't. I had to get out of there as quickly as I could, Dad, I just had to." I was definitely cutting off circulation now.

"I know it's hard, son, but… you remember what we had to do when Spitelout sent off his wife and couldn't stay until the end like you…" I squeezed my eyes shut and gritted my teeth as I remembered what had had to happen. "Son… you're going to have to reopen that wound. We have to finish the ceremony, or Astrid will be rejected when she comes to the gates of the next world. You know this." I tightened the cloth more, even though the entire rest of my arm below it already felt like it was going to fall off.

"I'd really rather not…" I spoke quietly through gritted teeth, my eyes still squeezed shut tightly.

"So you'd rather it if Astrid arrived at the next world only to be told that she couldn't enter… all because you wouldn't perform this simple task?" He was really starting to get on my nerves.

"Why can't we just cut open my other arm? It'd be a lot less painful."

"It has to be the same blood that touched her skin."

"I'm pretty sure the same exact blood courses through my entire body, including both of my arms…"

"Hiccup, don't start acting like a smart ass with me." My eyes shot open wide at my dad's choice of words. I had only ever heard him use foul language when battling a dragon or when he was muttering quietly to himself. He had never used it in front of me or used it against me before. "You know good and well what I mean; you've lived with this tradition all your life." I continued to stare up at the ceiling, refusing to respond. I folded my hands together on top of my stomach underneath the light blanket, waiting for my dad to say something. After a short moment of silence he pushed himself back to his feet. "Alright. I'll just go tell Astrid's parents that you won't be completing the ceremony and that their daughter will be forced to-"

"I'll be down at the docks in ten minutes," I hissed through gritted teeth. Dad gave a curt nod and grunted in an almost victorious way. I waited until he was out of the house yet again to take my arms out from underneath the blanket. It was very obvious that I was cutting off circulation in my lower left arm, and so I immediately tried to pull the cloth loose, but, embarrassedly, I had pulled it too tight around my arm. I groaned to myself as I reached for my dagger sitting on a small table not far from the bed. I slipped it easily underneath the cloth, shivering when the cool blade touched my skin, and tore the cloth from my arm. I immediately felt relief, relaxation, and blood swarm down into my left hand. The wound was still red and smeared with fresh blood, even though it had been over half an hour since I had cut it. Toothless sat up, eyeing the wound on my arm before leaning in gently to sniff it lightly. He drew back with his nose wrinkled up slightly, and I chuckled at him quietly.

"Not too pretty, is it?" I asked him, swinging my legs over the side of the bed gently. I slipped my dagger under my belt as I stood up, leaving the bloody cloth on the table where my knife had been earlier. I walked slowly towards the front door and, hearing Toothless begin to follow me, turned back towards him for a quick second. "I want you to stay here, bud. I don't want you to have to see me cut my arm open… again." He gave a worried sort of groan, and I gave him a small smile and a light pat on the head before pulling the door open and walking outside. The sky was much darker, and the stars were shining as if millions of diamonds had been placed there. I sighed quietly to myself as I began my journey back down to the docks, tripping over a small rock in the darkness.

"Ah, here he is," my father stated as I arrived at the edge of the docks where I had pushed Astrid off earlier. They had several torches to light up the scene, and I gave them a very small, fake smile. Astrid's parents were standing side by side, hand in hand, as I approached them slowly. Astrid's mother very hesitantly held out a bandage-like piece of Astrid's normal blue shirt, and I took it with a very shaky hand. I gave my father a look of discomfort and hurt before I walked towards the dock's edge, my back to the others.

"Oh gods…" I said quietly to myself, not quite prepared for what I was about to do. I took a hold of my blade again, dragging it out from under my belt, and placing the sharp edge against the same cut that was still bleeding. I took in one breath through my nose, and blew it out through my mouth before I pressed down slightly with the knife. I bit my lip at the slightest pressure against the wound, letting out a quiet choked cry. "Astrid, Astrid, Astrid…" I kept mumbling her name to myself to keep myself pressing down, little by little, until the slow pain just wasn't doing it for me. I gripped the dagger tightly in my hand and sliced the cut open, blood immediately pouring out. I tried not to, but I couldn't help but let out a loud, bloodcurdling scream at the sudden pain that scorched through my arm. I took the piece of Astrid's shirt and pressed it down on top of the wound as the others rushed over to me.

"Are you all right?" Dad asked worriedly. If my eyes hadn't been squeezed shut with pain I would have rolled them at him. I held back my sarcastic comment as well, keeping my lips pressed together, in fear that if I opened them I would let out another loud screech. I had known that this was going to hurt, but I wasn't expecting the pain to be _this_ excruciating.

Out of nowhere, Toothless came soaring down to the docks, landing right beside me. He spread his wings out in front of me, blocking me from the other three, and took a defensive position. He let out a nasty low growl whenever my dad or one of Astrid's parents made any kind of movement, and I rolled my eyes softly. I tapped his wing lightly and he allowed me to come up to his face.

"Stop it," I hissed quietly into his ear, my teeth still gritted. "This is why I wanted you to stay home. I'm fine… I don't need you to protect me right now, okay?" He looked over at me with a worried expression, his skinny, rage-filled pupils growing large and soft again. I gave him a light pat on the head before walking back over to where I had been, still holding back my groans of agony.

After only thirty seconds of holding the piece of Astrid's shirt to my arm, the cloth was soaked with my blood. I placed it on the deck and took the extra white cloth that my dad had been holding the entire time. It was noticeably thicker than Astrid's shirt, for which I was grateful. While my dad pressed the white cloth down on my wound, after slowly walking past Toothless, I took a small rock, tied Astrid's bloody piece of shirt to it, and then walked over to edge of the dock. I looked out at the horizon, where a very small sliver of the sun could still be seen, and closed my eyes as I dropped the rock into the water. I slowly opened my eyes again to look down and watch the rock sink down, pulling the cloth with it, until it was too far down to see anymore. I felt my father's large hand land on my shoulder, and I turned my head up to look at him. I knew that he could see the tears in my eyes, and he gave me a reassuring smile.

"You finished the ceremony… Astrid will be taken care of well, I know it," he told me quietly, pulling me into his side for some sort of hug. I let my tears begin to slowly roll down my cheeks as Astrid's parents came over to stand on the opposite side of my dad and Toothless came to stand beside me. I didn't care if they saw me; I fell to my knees, not reacting when the cloth covering my wound fell into the water. My blood began racing down my arm as I hung my head, full-out sobbing. Toothless lowered his head to try to nuzzle it against my own but I shook him off, burying my face in my hands. Dad knelt down beside me and put his arm around me. "Son… it'll be okay…" I whipped my head up to look over at him, suddenly enraged.

"No, Dad, it won't be!" I screamed at him. He blinked once, a look of surprise crossing his face. "Tell me how it's going to be okay! Go on, tell me!" He was silent as he stared into my eyes, at a loss for words. "You don't have an answer, do you? No! You don't! Astrid is dead, Dad! _Dead!_ She's gone, and there's nothing you, or anyone else, can do to bring her back!" Dad turned his eyes to the side as I continued to shriek at him, my blood dripping onto the dock, beginning to form a very small puddle. When he didn't respond, I pushed myself back to my feet and turned to run down the docks.

"Hiccup!" Dad called after me. I didn't reply as I kept on running past the many ships, tears racing down my cheeks. I heard Toothless following closely behind, and that only made me begin to run faster, and before I knew it I was all the way back at my house. I was trying to catch my breath, exhausted, but at the same time, I wanted to keep running; I didn't want to stop quite yet. I felt my adrenaline pumping, wanting more. And so I ran around my house and continued on, having no idea where I was going in the dark. I had had my prosthetic leg for nearly a month now, having gotten fairly used to using it, and so I had no trouble running quickly away from the village, arriving at the forest sooner than I thought I would have. I heard Toothless running behind me, and so I turned a hard right and ran through a large thicket of thorns, not caring as they tore at my clothes and scraped my skin. My arm was already bleeding like crazy and my heart was broken; what are a few other cuts and bruises going to matter?

I heard Toothless barge through the thorns after me, and I took the opportunity of him not being able to see me at all and took a hard left, sprinting away from the thicket. I heard Toothless let out a loud, worried cry, but I didn't turn around and go back to him. I kept running through the trees, occasionally tripping and falling. I would always get back to my feet and keep going.

After what felt like an eternity, I realized that my breath was coming short and raspy and that my legs were beginning to tire and I felt a painful crick beginning to form in my right side. I started to slow down when my metal foot got caught on a root and brought me down. I landed roughly on my right side, only making the crick even more painful. I let out a loud, painful shriek as I landed, the sound of breaking metal echoing off the trees surrounding me. I knew that Toothless would hear my scream and come searching for me, and I could feel that my left leg was in no way able to support me, so I merely stayed on my side, lying in the dirt of the forest floor.

After only a minute or so of lying there I felt tiny raindrops begin to spill from the sky. I didn't have a very thick tree cover, so I knew that I wasn't going to be returning home dry. I groaned quietly to myself as the rain picked up, piercing my scarred skin. When I heard a loud clap of thunder roll by, I shut my eyes tightly, hoping that lightning wouldn't show up. I had no way of getting out of the forest at the moment, and being underneath trees was the last place I wanted to be when lightning struck.

I let my thoughts drift back to Astrid as I lied there, wishing that I could have done something – anything - that could have helped her survive that illness. I couldn't help but think that it was my fault that she was gone. I hadn't been able to help her in her time of need; I hadn't been able to even see her in her time of need. Thinking back to those two weeks without being able to see her was torture for me. Why had I not just gone in without permission to see her? I'm sure she would have done that for me if I had been the one with the sickness. I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter, pounding my fist against the ground and gritting my teeth in anger.

"Why, why, why, why, why?" I muttered angrily. "Why'd you take her? Why didn't you allow me to save her life? Why couldn't you have let me?" As each question came out of my mouth, I noticed that my voice got louder and louder, until I was practically screaming. "She had her whole life in front of her! And you took her away from me! You took her away from me… and you didn't even let me say goodbye!" My tears began cascading down my cheeks as I screamed my last sentence, a streak of lightning piercing the night sky. I could care less about the lightning now… I was absorbed in my thoughts. "I didn't get to say goodbye…" I kept muttering to myself between sobs.

Astrid had died inside her house, underneath her blankets, with only her parents there to watch. I hadn't even received the news until a complete twenty-four hours later. My entire world caved in when I heard about her death, and it was still caving in. My life was ruined now that she was gone; I hadn't even gotten to say goodbye to her…

I pounded my fist against the ground again, squeezing my eyes shut so tight, it felt like my eyelids would rip. I brought my hands to the sides of my head and let out the loudest scream that I could possibly manage, and then it broke off with the sudden wave of tears that flooded from my eyes. I sat there in the rain and the dirt and just fell apart. The tears wouldn't stop coming, the pain wouldn't stop pounding through my body, both physically and mentally. I felt my life being sucked away as another lightning streak lit the dark sky.

"Hiccup!" My dad's sudden voice tore me out of my thoughts, my eyes opening wide. I didn't move an inch because of the pain that swarmed throughout my body, but I did turn my head upward to reply to my father's worried cry.

"… Dad?" I yelled as loud as I could, my voice breaking. I let the side of my face fall back into the dirt, too exhausted to keep it up. I heard footsteps coming towards me, and I actually felt grateful when I heard my dad's voice from behind me.

"Son?" he exclaimed. I could hear the worry and the relief in his voice with just that one word. I heard him rush over to me, and I cringed slightly as he turned me onto my back. "Oh, son, are you okay?" he asked worriedly, pushing my wet hair out of my eyes. I shook my head slowly without giving a verbal response. He immediately tried picking me up in his large arms, but I gritted my teeth painfully and told him to put me back down.

"It's my leg, Dad, my left one," I hissed through my teeth. "Something's wrong with it, I can feel it." Dad went down to look at the metalwork, and I could tell from the way he sucked the air in through his teeth that it wasn't good news he was about to tell me.

"It's completely broken, son," he reported, showing that the lower half was broken off. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together.

"Just perfect…" I whispered. "As if my life wasn't a living hell already…" Dad paid no mind to the word choice I used, and instead picked me up gently in his arms, trying to cause the littlest amount of pain possible.

"Gobber can fix it up real fast," he told me as he turned and started heading back through the forest. I rested my head against his large chest, feeling absolutely exhausted.

"Where's Toothless?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"He stayed back at the village for important reasons."

"Did you come out here all alone? Other than Toothless, I mean."

"Yes. I didn't want anyone getting lost out here." I opened my eyes in confusion.

"How do you know _we're_ not lost right now? How do you plan on getting us back to village with it being this dark?" As if on cue, a bright blue blast shone through the trees to our right, and Dad turned towards it.

"Toothless has been shooting those up into the air to help guide us back, and he'll continue shooting them until we arrive back at the village. That's why he stayed behind."

"How did I not notice those?" I asked.

"Well, he's only shot two up so far. He fires one every five minutes or so." Sudden realization hit me; the lightning that had been streaking through the sky had been Toothless's blasts of fire. I suddenly felt like an idiot.

It took us nearly half an hour to trek back through the forest and another half an hour to arrive back at the village. I saw Toothless sitting up on top of our roof, and then he excitedly flew down to the ground when he saw my father and I walk into the village. Dad pushed the front door open with his foot and quickly walked over to slide me out of his arms and onto the bed. He got several wet clothes and began to wipe up the cuts on my arms, strapping one of the clothes around my arm where I had sliced it open with my dagger earlier.

"Why did you go out there when it was already so dark out?" he asked me as he carefully began cutting my shirt off of my body. He didn't want to pull it off because he knew the pain that it would cause me, and because of all the rips and tears in it already, I didn't really care if he just cut it off and got rid of it. It wouldn't be too hard to get a new shirt just like it, and it felt good when Dad ripped it off of my body.

"I wanted to run… and I just ended up running there," I answered as he gently pushed me down onto my back, shirtless. I clenched my teeth in slight pain as Dad placed a hot cloth against my scraped chest.

"I don't like the idea of you out there along during the day, let alone the night," he replied, leaving the hot cloth against my skin. After a few seconds, it began to feel a bit better to have the rag there. "Next time you want to run, please just do so around the village. I was worried you had gone and killed yourself."

"I'm not that depressed, Dad," I said quietly, turning my head away from him. "While I was out there… I thought about her and the times we spent together and just… learned that life goes on…" I turned my head up to look at the ceiling, my eyes drooping slightly. "Everyone's time comes, and I know that hers came far too early, but… there's nothing I can do about it, and being depressed isn't going to solve anything… it'll only make things worse." Dad was silent as I talked, and even took a few short moments after I had finished to reply.

"I'm glad you're trying to move on, son." He grabbed the rag on my stomach and began pulling it away, but I stopped him and told him to keep it there. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he told me, turning towards the front door. "I'm going to go get you some water and talk to Gobber about your foot." I didn't reply as he walked out into the rain, Toothless entering the house as the door was opened. I hadn't realized that he hadn't followed us in earlier, and I closed my tired eyes as he bounded over to me, softly touching his nose to my forehead. His cold, wet skin felt good against my hot head.

"Hey buddy," I greeted him in an exhausted sigh. I felt his nose leave my face, and heard him curl up on the floor beside the bed as I continued laying there with my eyes shut, hoping for sleep to overcome my tired body. My arms and legs still ached, my chest felt as if it was on fire, and all I wanted to do at that moment was lay there and die to rid myself of the agony.

I pretended to be asleep when I heard Dad and Gobber come into the house not too long later. I was angry that I couldn't really fall asleep, and I didn't have the energy to open my eyes, so I laid there, hoping they fell for it.

"He must be exhausted," Dad said quietly. "I leave the water here for him when he wakes up…" I heard him set a cup down on the table next to the bed, and then they came over next to the bed. "So… you think you can fix it?" I tried not to yelp in surprise or throw my eyes open when my left leg was suddenly lifted gently. I knew that it had to be Gobber inspecting it to see if he would be able to fix it.

"Yeah, it shouldn't be too hard. Could you unwrap it from his leg for me? It'd be a bit hard to do the repairs with the prosthetic attached to his leg." Dad didn't reply, but I was sure he must have nodded. I tried my hardest not to cringe when I felt my pant leg being rolled up, and the white bandage that kept the metalwork attached to my leg being unwound. I had never had the feeling of not having a sturdy base to my left leg, and when the prosthetic was taken away, I almost let out a quiet yell at the feeling. The feeling of having an incomplete leg was absolutely horrifying. Having the fake foot wasn't much better, but at least with it I could walk around and get from place to place.

"Good thing he's asleep," Dad said. "He would hate the sight of his left leg without the metal there." I really wish I was asleep at that moment.

"I need to be at the shop to fix this properly, so let's hope he stays asleep while we're gone… that'd be quite a sight to wake up to…" With no further words, they opened the front door and both walked back out into the rain, closing the door as quietly as they could behind them. I immediately opened my eyes, and as much as I didn't want to, curiosity got the better of me and I took a small peek down at my left leg. My stomach twisted and I felt sick as soon as I laid eyes on it. I threw myself back against my pillow, breathing heavily and trying to keep myself from vomiting. It wasn't bloody, and it had bandage wraps wounded around it, but it was just the sight of seeing my leg end where it normally shouldn't; I had never seen my leg without the prosthetic on, and I wished that I had kept it that way.

I closed my eyes again after a moment, thinking back to Astrid. I imagined her and I riding Toothless together, diving down and bouncing off the large waves, going up above the clouds and soaring around the village… much like our first flight together had been. A smile crossed my face and I lied there imagining it, and before I knew it, I slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

When I woke up, I instantly felt my metal foot back in place, and I stood up and walked around the room a bit to make sure that it worked properly. When I was sure that it would support me like it did before it had been broken, I went back over to the bed where a new shirt, exactly like my other one, was sitting there for me. I took it and gently slid it over my head and onto my body, noticing that the cuts and bruises on my arms, chest, and back didn't hurt as much as they had the night before. I picked up the glass of water that was still sitting on the table and took a couple drinks from it, before Toothless came to give me a few happy licks on my face. I laughed and scratched underneath his chin before setting the glass down again and moving towards the front door.

"I'm gonna' take a little walk, bud," I told him, opening the door. "I'll be back in a little while." He gave me a nod, understanding the fact that I wanted to be alone on my walk. I exited the house, closing the door behind, to immediately notice that the sky was still a light gray. I started walking away from the house when I was stopped by my dad, who had been talking with another Viking.

"How's your leg feel?" he asked.

"It feels just like it did before it broke," I answered, trying to move past him. "Um… I kind of wanted to go on a walk…"

"Oh! Oh, um, alright then. I'll talk to you later, then. Stay away from the woods." I gave him a small smile before beginning to walk away. The village still seemed to be quiet, due to Astrid's death, and when I passed by her house, I just wanted to get away from it all. I turned away from the village and began walking towards a large cliff. I stopped at the extreme edge, looking out at the horizon. Everything was so quiet, even the wind that blew my hair around my face, and peaceful.

"It's a mess." My eyes opened wide at the sound of that voice, and I slowly turned my head to the side. Unbelievably, Astrid was standing right there next to me, staring out at the water just as I was.

"As… Astrid?" I asked, trying to regain normal breathing. She turned towards me, giving me a light smile.

"Hello Hiccup," she said to me. I was starting to feel lightheaded.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, really having trouble breathing. "H-how are you here?" She chuckled lightly.

"I'm not here," she answered.

"But I can see you… and you can see me, and you're talking and we're having a conversation and you're right there and-"

"Hiccup." I shut my mouth and looked at her smiling face. "I'm not _really_ here. Think it through, I know you're smart enough to figure it out." Still struggling to regain my normal breathing pattern, I looked down to the ground and began trying to figure out what was going on. Astrid was dead, and yet she was standing right in front of me, smiling at me… I suddenly felt like an idiot.

"… I'm imagining you, aren't I?" She gave me a slow nod, but walked over to me. Normal breathing finally came back to me as I realized what was happening, and a feeling of slight depression came as well. She took my chin in her hands and lifted my head so that I made eye contact with her.

"Everything's going to be okay," she told me earnestly. "I'm just another Viking." I took both of her hands in mine and looked straight into her eyes.

"You know you're more than that to me," I said softly to her.

"Yes, but you can't let the loss of me hold you back. You say that you're moving on, but I know you're still holding yourself back. The past is the past, and there's nothing you can do to change what happened to me. You need to look to the future…"

"I've been trying to… it's hard without you here…"

"I know it is, but life isn't always easy. You have a bright future, Hiccup, focus on it… for me." I was silent, but after a few seconds I let a small smile creep onto my lips as I gave her a small nod.

"I will," I told her quietly. She grinned at me.

"Good… I love you, Hiccup." I felt tears stinging at the corners of my eyes as I nodded again.

"I… I love you, too, Astrid. I'm going to miss you…" Her grin widened as she leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on my lips, though I couldn't really feel anything. I blinked a couple of times as she pulled away, our hands still conjoined.

"I'll always be with you, Hiccup," she said quietly. My smile became a little larger as one tear found itself rolling down my cheek. She slowly slipped her hands out of mine and began backing away from me.

"I'll always love you…" I whispered. She smiled at me again before turning and beginning to run away from me. With a light, glorious laugh, she disappeared into thin air. I knew at the moment she disappeared that I had gotten through my stage of depression. I had taken what I had been thinking and feeling all along and formed it all into Astrid, without even knowing I had done so, to make it easier for myself… and it had definitely worked. I turned to look back out towards the sea, a small smile on my face, as the sun broke through the clouds and shone right down on me. Astrid was dead… but I had my whole future ahead of me. It was at that moment that I finally let her go.

* * *

**I got the idea for the story because, originally, it was going to be the story of how my OC, Sage, arrived at Berk with her father and I was going to pair her up with Hiccup, and so I had to do something about the whole Hiccup/Astrid thing going on. But then, about half way through writing the first chapter, I realized that Hiccup and Astrid were, like, made for each other ((delayed reaction, much? XD)), and that I didn't really want to pair them up with anyone but each other, and so I just went on with what I had started in Chapter One**.

**Also, as it was pointed out in a review of Chapter One, I did create my own little Viking burial ritual because I was too stupid to do some actual research on Vikings. XP I have gone and done quite a bit of research on them now, and so in future stories I'll use my newfound knowledge of Vikings instead of coming up with my own... unless I really want to. XD**

**And again... writing Hiccup in such an emotinal state... gods, it was just so much fun, and it was so heart-breaking, and it made me literally tear up while I was writing it. Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks!**

**~Taylor**


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